Letters

From a Mother...                                                                    page2

She might arrange for childcare, but one day she
will be going into an important business meeting
and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of her discipline
to keep from running home, just to make sure her
baby is alright.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions
will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's
desire to go to the men's room rather than the
women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That
right there, in the midst of clattering trays and
screaming children, issues of independence and gender
identity will be weighed against the prospect that a
child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will
second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure
her that eventually she will shed the pounds of
pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about
herself. That her life, now so important, will be
of less value to her once she has a child. That she
would give it up in a moment to save her offspring,
but will also begin to hope for more years - not to
accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child
accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a caesarian scar or shiny
stretch marks will become badges of honor. My
daughter's relationship with her husband will
change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she
could understand how much more you can love a man who
is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates
to play with his child. I think she should know that
she will fall in love with him again for reasons she
would now find very unromantic.