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I think if you are looking for God to answer you with dark rolling clouds and thunder and lightning.....then I think you have been misled.

Maybe you might want to try this,  listen for a whisper,  a whisper in your heart,  you can see and hear answers in the laughter of a young child or the warm smile of an elderly person that has seen many sides of life.  It could come from the sight of a bird or butterfly or even the wind blowing through the trees.  Sometimes the answers we get are not always the one's we want and sometimes they don't come as fast as we want.

Patience and trust,  I know it is not easy, especially after feeling betrayed,  but God will not betray you.  But you must be patient and trust and believe in him.  God does not condone or support suicide plain and simple.

There is a lot of evil out there in the world that wants you to fail and there are many tricks, lies and propaganda to lure you into believing that no one cares about you, to convince you to lose hope, trust and faith.

I can sit here and tell you stories of myself, of friends and various situations and experiences.  I can also give you a lot of bible thumping statements with chapter and verse.  But the best thing I think I can say is just open your heart and mind and ask God for help and as for the scriptures, just pick up the Bible and start reading it like a novel,  there are so many interesting stories in it and so many answers.  But remember,  don't try to interpet it, it will come naturally.  I have seen and heard so many different interpetations it becomes confusing and conflicting but only because man made it that way.  Just truly open your heart and mind, it's all so simple.

If you are or know someone in need of help,  please get it or give it,  don't let such a horrific act take place ---- everyone suffers from it.